Relationship Coaching

The Quarterly Relationship Check-In

The Quarterly
Relationship Check-In

A Private Self-Assessment for Couples

This audit is a private, individual self-assessment designed to be completed separately by each partner, then shared and discussed together. It is not a test, a grade, or a record of past wrongs. It is a structured way to put honest feelings into words, every 90 days, before small frustrations calcify into resentment, distance, or silence.

Most relationship breakdowns, including infidelity, do not happen overnight. They happen in the unspoken gap between what one partner feels and what the other partner knows. This check-in closes that gap on a regular schedule, before it becomes a crisis.

Each partner fills this out alone and honestly. Then you exchange answers and talk. The goal is not to win an argument or prove a point. The goal is to build one accurate, shared picture of where the relationship stands right now, so you can decide together what to build next.

Instructions: For each statement, mark the response that best reflects how you honestly feel right now, then use the space below it to explain why, give an example, or add anything the scale can’t capture. There are no wrong answers here, only honest ones.

Nothing you enter on this page is submitted, saved, or sent anywhere. Your answers stay in your browser only, for your own personal use, until you save them as a PDF or close this page.

Section 01

Communication Quality

1.I feel heard and understood when I express my thoughts or concerns.

2.My partner and I communicate openly, without shutting down or stonewalling.

3.We make time for meaningful conversation, not just logistics.

4.I feel safe bringing up difficult topics with my partner.

5.My partner’s tone and body language generally match their words.

Section 02

Emotional Intimacy

6.I feel emotionally close to my partner right now.

7.My partner shows genuine interest in my inner world (fears, dreams, stress).

8.I feel emotionally safe being vulnerable with my partner.

9.We express appreciation and affection for each other regularly.

10.I trust my partner with my emotional wellbeing.

Section 03

Physical / Sexual Intimacy

11.I am satisfied with the physical affection in our relationship.

12.I am satisfied with our sexual connection.

13.I feel desired and attractive to my partner.

14.We are able to discuss physical intimacy openly and without shame.

15.Physical intimacy feels like a source of connection, not obligation or distance.

Section 04

Shared Life Investment

16.My partner and I are aligned on our shared goals (financial, family, future).

17.I feel like an equal partner in the responsibilities of our life together.

18.We make major decisions as a team.

19.I feel confident in our shared direction as a couple.

20.My partner shows up consistently for the practical demands of our life together.

Section 05

Individual Needs & Growth

21.I have enough space in this relationship to grow as an individual.

22.My partner supports my personal goals and interests.

23.I feel like myself in this relationship, not a diminished version of myself.

24.My core needs (emotional, practical, personal) are being met.

25.I feel encouraged, not threatened, when I pursue my own growth.

Section 06

Conflict & Repair

26.We are able to disagree without it becoming destructive.

27.After a conflict, we are able to repair and reconnect.

28.My partner takes accountability when they are wrong.

29.I feel like conflict moves us toward resolution, not further apart.

30.I trust that hard conversations will not threaten the relationship itself.

Reflection & Next Steps

1. What is one thing that felt better than expected while answering this audit?

2. What is one thing that felt harder to admit than expected?

3. What is one specific, small change you are willing to make in the next 90 days?

4. What is one specific thing you would like your partner to understand after reading this?

Save your completed answers for your own records. When you and your partner have both finished, set aside uninterrupted time to exchange and discuss your answers, without the goal of being right, only the goal of being understood.

After you speak with your partner, PLEASE feel free to schedule a free 30-minute phone session with me to go over results and possible actions forward. No sales pitches. Just a conversation. Click the link below.

SCHEDULE HERE